Phil Miglioratti interviewed Pastor Jim Nicodem, author of Prayer Coach: For All Who Want to Get off the Bench and onto the Praying Field
Q. Jim, what does the subtitle tell us about your passion in writing this book?
You're absolutely right when you refer to my book's subtitle ("For
Those Who Want to Get Off the Fence and onto the Praying Field") as a
reflection of my passion. I love to equip people to pray. Oftentimes
when I speak on the topic of prayer, I'll begin by asking my audience:
"How many of you feel that your prayer life is what it should be?" I've
never seen a hand go up! Prayer is one of those spiritual disciplines
that we all wish we practiced more—but somehow we never get around to
doing anything about it.
I have two shelves of books on prayer in my study. Some of them are
quite profound. In fact, during the year and a half that it took me to
write Prayer Coach, at least half a dozen well-known Christian authors
published books on prayer! So, why add another book to the list?
Because I wasn't out to deepen readers' understanding about prayer, I
was out to get them to pray. To actually do it.
Q. You paint vivid pictures by using many athletic illustrations and
examples. While the teachings in your book apply to both genders and
across generations, it seems you have a specific goal to capture the
minds of men ... Why?
Before I tell you why I'm after men, let me say that I hope the
athletic metaphor of my book's title, Prayer Coach, doesn't scare away
any women. This isn't just a guy's book. By God's grace, I was able to
get endorsements from an extremely diverse group of people: a women's
softball gold medallist, a New Testament scholar, a lead singer for a
Christian rock band, the founder of Promise Keepers, a high school
student, a female radio talk show host, a world famous evangelist, and
the "winningest" coach in college football—-to name a few. Probably the
strangest mix of endorsers in publishing history. But I wanted
potential readers to know that this book is for everybody who wants to
pray more.
Having said that, I'm definitely after the guys. For years I've done
quarterly men's breakfasts at Christ Community Church on the topic of
prayer. Several hundred men show up. I know how to get men's attention.
I know how to say things in a way that they will understand and put
into practice. Married men often lag behind their wives when it comes
to praying. Maybe we're just not as good at expressing ourselves
verbally. But it's time we set the pace in our homes when it comes to
prayer.
Q. Just as male readers may have some different issues than female
readers, pastors (predominately male in our culture) have a specific
set of circumstances and problems others do not face.
Prayer Coach is going to be of tremendous benefit to pastors for at
least a couple of very significant reasons. First, it's the tool that
pastors have been looking for to disciple others in praying. Most of
the guys that I mentor in small groups—businessmen and tradesmen,
alike—aren't going to read the really profound books on prayer. They're
looking for something that's much more practical. Something that's just
a little bit butt-kicking, too.
For over twenty years I've been giving away copies of Bill Hybels' Too
Busy Not to Pray—-the most practical book available on prayer. I
finally decided it was time to write an updated version! Pastors (I
hope) are going to be regularly handing out copies of Prayer Coach, as
well as encouraging their churches' small groups to use it as a
curriculum.
Second, pastors are going to personally benefit from Prayer Coach
because there is an entire chapter in the book that challenges readers
to pray for those in spiritual leadership (especially pastors!) and
explains how to do it. There are almost a hundred men at Christ
Community Church who have formally signed on to be my prayer partners.
They are not only committed to interceding for me throughout the week,
they also pray on rotating teams while I am preaching at our weekend
services.
Q. You identify several normal situations, such as feeling anger or joy
and struggling with temptation or anxiety, as actual promptings for
prayer from the Spirit. Really? It seems we should take a fresh look at
how the Spirit leads and guides us in prayer beyond using the written
Word of God.
We miss so many opportunities to pray in the course of every day.
Opportunities that God's Spirit is prompting us to take advantage of. I
tell the story, in Prayer Coach, of a recent occasion when I was in
danger of missing a connecting flight on a missions trip, along with a
couple dozen people from my church. We had to claim our bags, go
through customs, and then re-check them for the next flight. But there
wasn't enough time to get all this done. So, being the take-charge guy
that I am, I began strategizing ways to "fix" things (from bribing a
customs official to give us a quick pass, to pleading with the airlines
to hold our next flight).
All of a sudden it dawned on me that I ought to try praying! Less than
half a minute after I said "amen," an airlines representative announced
that we could take our time because our next flight had been delayed!
The Spirit is constantly trying to get our attention so that we'll
pray. We've got to learn how to discern and respond to those promptings.
Q. Talk about your approach to what some call Prayer Evangelism.
Prayer is a huge part of evangelism. And that explains why the vast
majority of Christ followers have never introduced a lost friend to the
Savior. Prayerlessness cripples our outreach. We don't just need better
training or tools for sharing our faith. We need to start praying for
those who need Christ.
I like to teach believers how to pray the "3-Open" prayer (a pattern I
learned from somebody else). This is a prayer that's to be prayed while
we're in conversation with others. Now, my wife is constantly chiding
me for my inability to multi-task. (For example, I can't fold laundry
and watch a ballgame at the same time. Guys, are you with me?) But in
this case we must do two things simultaneously. We must learn how to
talk to God while we're talking to others.
First, we pray for an open door, that God will move the conversation to
spiritual matters. Next, we pray for an open mouth, for boldness and
clarity in speaking about Christ. Finally, we pray for an open heart,
that the one we're talking with will respond positively to what we
share. I've had some amazing conversations with seekers as a result of
praying the 3-Open prayer.
Q. You've put a new spin on the ACTS (Adoration, Confession,
Thanksgiving, Supplication) format for praying. Explain how this
approach is both similar and yet importantly different.
I was taught, years ago, to use the acronym A-C-T-S when praying. This
reminded me to include adoration, confession, thanksgiving and
supplication when I prayed. But I always struggled with that acronym.
For starters, I could never remember it. What does ACTS have to do with
praying? And then there was that word, supplication—-I had no idea what
it meant. Finally, on those occasions when I felt the need to begin my
prayers with confession, I realized that I was reconfiguring the
acronym to spell CATS—-ugh!
So, I prefer a different acronym: C-H-A-T. Confess, honor, ask, and
thank are four action verbs that I understand and that bring balance to
my prayer life. CHAT reminds me to talk to God. And putting the "C"
(confess) at the beginning of my prayers helps me restore sin-broken
fellowship with God before trying to hold a conversation with him.
There is a separate chapter on each of these four aspects of prayer in
Prayer Coach. I've heard from those I pastor over the years that the
"honor" ("praise" or "worship") part of praying is the hardest. One guy
told me that when he closes the weekly small group he leads by inviting
the men to "praise God for who he is," the room becomes uncomfortably
quiet. Nobody knows what to say. Once again, this is exactly why I've
written this book. It's filled to the brim with practical instructions
that will get people praying.
Q. Regarding confession, you quote McMinn: "Part of our mess is not
knowing we are a mess." How does that apply to our typical confessional
prayers. Any special insight for how pastors need to apply this thought?
So much of our confessing barely scratches the surface of our sin. It
reminds me of one of the household rules we had as our kids were
growing up. Everybody had to have a clean room. But "clean" meant
something different for our kids than it did for their mom. So, while
the kids kept things picked up, in a general sort of way, mom would
occasionally invade their territory and give their rooms a thorough
going over.
In Prayer Coach, I use Psalm 51 to teach how to confess sins in an
in-depth fashion. How to get at the sins behind the sins. How to come
away truly clean and fully restored.
Q. "Get ready to pray 'cause we do a lot of it around here" was the
warning a new staff member received as they joined your staff. Many
pastors, of congregations large or small, traditional or contemporary,
struggle to develop an authentic prayer culture in all the systems and
structures of their church. How did you do it? Any wisdom on how to
begin?
We do a lot of praying around Christ Community Church. Let me give you
just a couple of examples of ways in which this has contributed to a
prayer culture. (And, by the way, isn't it interesting to note that
Jesus referred to the worship center of his day as a "house of
prayer"—-not a house of preaching, or a house of evangelism.)
First, our ministry staff members (about thirty of our overall staff)
meet twice a week for an hour of prayer. We share the major ministry
challenges we're facing (in twenty minutes or less, leaving plenty of
time to pray), break into groups of three (so everyone is actively
participating), and pray fervently. It's a noisy room! In over twenty
years, Christ Community has never experienced a major split or a mass
exodus. Prayer has wonderfully united our leadership team.
Second, we pray throughout leadership meetings. Not just at the
beginning and at the end. If there are several items on the elder
agenda, for example, we'll cover one or two of them, and then stop,
break into small groups, and pray for twenty minutes or so. Then we'll
cover a couple more items, stop again, break into small groups, and
pray some more. On and on it goes. It seems like such a small thing, I
almost hesitate to mention it. But it's a huge departure from the
typical pattern of debating issues for two hours and then quickly
closing in a brief word of prayer (which everyone is too tired to
participate in).
I could say so much more on this score, Phil, about the prayer culture
at Christ Community Church. Hopefully, I've said enough to motivate
pastors to pick up a copy of Prayer Coach.
Q. Jim, please wirte a prayer that you would hope others, especially
pastors and leaders, would pray from their heart about getting off the
bench and onto the field of pray.
Lord, forgive us for our prayerlessness. Forgive us for doing life and
ministry in the strength of the flesh when you have offered to
supernaturally empower us-—if we will only pray. Help those of us in
leadership to become role models in this regard. Help us to train moms
and dads to pray for their kids, believers to pray for their lost
friends, church members to pray for those in spiritual leadership and
for persecuted brothers and sisters around the world.
There is only one thing, Lord Jesus, which your disciples ever asked
you to teach them. "Teach us to pray," they requested, after observing
you at prayer. That's our request, today: "Jesus, teach us to pray!"
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